thank you for bearing with me

things are more difficult than i expected them to be so soon after the diagnosis. so much is changing, i have to figure out my every day life all anew. that's pretty exhausting, much more exhausting than i ever thought it would be.

still, as a glass-half-full-person i am positive and hopefull, it's not that i mope around the house and cry all day ...

it sucks that i hardly read your lovely foodblogs these days. that's a major downer, because digging around in the foodie community was always the most inspiring thing. the major downside (besides the meds and the numbing fatigue) is that foodwise, i am not really touched by the muse and that's clearly slowing down dinner for one.

i am sure that will change again and i definitely don't want to go on a hiatus or close this blog alltogether! i know you are patient and supportive, and i will surely keep posting. i will post less, but i will keep posting.

and i will also put my laptop on my belly while i rest on my couch, i will crawl through your lovely foodblogs and leave the odd comment here and there ... your inspiration will have me back jumping around in my kitchen in no time!

thank you for being here and dropping mails and comments that you are worried.

you have no idea what that means to me.
you rock!

and thanks for the fish

i am having a rough time healthwise right now and i am not in the mood for anything at the moment. i just finished cortisone iv treatment and i am slowly getting back my sleep-wake rhythm. it sucks to be totally off my game! i was not even in the mood for eating or cooking, but i had some zander in my fridge which really had to be prepared. while it might be best to cook this fish in the oven or fry the battered fish i was going for a different fish in the pan - situation. accidentally, actually!

i removed the skin of a zander filet (the european version of walleye) and i fried it in a little olive oil over medium heat. once the fish was done on one side i tried to flip it - what a disaster! it totally broke appart! well, i am not that experienced with cooking fish, but i should have seen this coming. oh, nevermind. i sprinted to my fridge in search for further ingredients for a fish-stew-thing that would cover up this flipping disaster. luckily i found some fennel and green beans which seemed to match perfectly. i kept frying the fish for some more while i was cutting up the fennel. i added it to the pan and also added some cremefine and a spoon full of capers. i put a lid on an let the rescued disaster simmer for a couple of minutes. in the meantime i prepared the green beans and cooked them for about 10 minutes.

i might need a little more experience with cooking fish but i will work on that. the dish itself tasted fabulous, by the way. fennel and fish seems to be a pretty nice combination!