it looks like life has its own way of taking care of things

let me give you another quick update, since once again things have turned around pretty unexpectedly for me! your comments and emails gave me so much perseverance and hope and it looks like this stamina paid off!

yes, i am still single. while i was heartbroken for quite a while it turned out to be okay in the end. life goes on. after all, i am used to function better on my own because i am not so distracted! more room for food-blogging and adjusting my camera while munching my food! after all, this is dinner for one!
i also found a very cool job as a marketing assistant (where i am mostly pushing around pixels in graphic programs) and i am also back at university, and that is the most unexpected thing of all!
when i applied for a student grant in september things where not looking good at all, i honestly thought i will never again go to university because i simply can't afford it. i had already made my peace with it, i was looking for full time jobs - and two days after i got this incredible part time thing in marketing i got the news from my advisor that she recalculated my file again ... and it turns out that i actually am eligible for a scholarship after all! i tell you, this truly is a miracle!

while all these thoughts about my uncertain future at first caused quite some inner turmoil and quite some sleepless nights with the disease flaring up again too it finally looks like i hit the ground running!

look forward my friends, this will not be my only post today! i will go grocery shopping after university later today and i plan to treat myself to some christmassy sweetness!

a quick update

things have not been going smoothly for me lately.

i am now on medication and it is back to "for one" - two major changes that pretty much suck most of the time. and though i also finished my bachelor's degree i am still looking for a decent job. no idea yet how to make rent next month!

but i am sure i will get through all this.
i know i am strong.
and i hope to get this foodblog back to life too!
thanks for your patience anyway!

this and that ... and a few more things

first of all i want to thank you for your overwhelming support.
i honestly don't know what to say.

healthwise i've had some very troubled times lately which i announced on this foodblog to a great extent. it almost seems that this is not a foodblog anymore, this might be a chronic ailment blog now! what a shame, don't you think?! no, i don't want that. i need to turn things around again and this little hiatus has to stop.

now.
like, right now.

because i feel so much stronger! i am getting in shape, i can feel that my body is changing because of my much healthier lifestyle and a very balanced nutrition. i have the feeling that a healthier body might even give me the strength to overcome bad times more easily. i don't want to be weak when i have to face bad times again! and not-so-funny-times are straight ahead: i will start with medication in a few days. i basically had to make the decision to either go ahead with orthodox medicine or rely on alternatives. and while i am not opposed to complementary treatment in general i don't believe in an esoteric approach at all. so i decided that i will be on meds for the rest of my life.

the.
rest.
of.
my.
life.

sounds so ultimate, doesn't it?
i have to admit that i am scared.
like, really really scared.

but actually, it is not so bad ...

... because, uhm ♥ love is in the air ♥ frankly, that's the other reason why i did not blog that much in recent weeks. i did not expect this at all - honestly, i was expecting quite the opposite because i tend to shut down in troubled times ... but this guy, oh, this gorgeous guy ... with his split-second timing! he managed to catch me off guard and just stole my heart - and now we're two enamoured geeks, how cool is that?! and we cook and eat together ... he seems to be a little concerned about my deserted foodblog too, because the other day as we stood by the stove he asked why i was not taking any pictures of the things we cook together ... aaawww, need i say more? i am one very happy gal!


one happy gal that can offer you another austrian dish today:

marillenknödel (apricot dumplings)

cook and peel 200 g of potatoes. though i am not particularly messy in the kitchen i always need a lot of space for making the dough. so i place my potatoes on the clean kitchen counter when they are cool enough to handle and i thoroughly squish them while they are still warm. use a fork or a potatoe masher, either would work. add a pinch of salt. hollow out a little hole in the middle of your pile of potatoes and crack one egg into it. it really depends on your potatoes how much flour you need, for my dough i added a little more than 100 g of flour. now knead the mixture well until it is compact and smooth. it should not be too moist!


slice open 4 apricots and remove the pit. my mom always slices them almost half open and replaces the pit with a sugar cube. since my apricots are really ripe and sweet i did not do that.


in the meantime bring a pot of water to a boil.

now roll out your dough a little and cut it into 4 pieces. flatten one piece with your hand. now hold this fairly round thingy in your hand and place one apricot you prepared earlier in the center. press the dough around the fruit to seal the edges together. make sure there are no leaks!



repeat with the other three pieces of dough. now place your dumplings in the water and let simmer for about 10 - 15 minutes. check back often, when your dumplings rise to the top they are done.

melt a knob of butter in a pan. stir in 8 tablespoons of breadcrumbs and one tablespoon of sugar. roast the crumbs until they turn brown. again, my mum makes them much sweeter and adds like 4 times as much sugar (which, honestly, every austrian chef would do. but i want to stay away from too much calories, so i cut out white sugar whenever i can).

when your dumplings are done, place them in the pan and turn them a little to coat them in the crumbs.


garnish your dumplings with a tablespoon or two of the roasted breadcrumbs.
by the way, you can also use plumbs or other stone fruits for that recipe.

thank you for bearing with me

things are more difficult than i expected them to be so soon after the diagnosis. so much is changing, i have to figure out my every day life all anew. that's pretty exhausting, much more exhausting than i ever thought it would be.

still, as a glass-half-full-person i am positive and hopefull, it's not that i mope around the house and cry all day ...

it sucks that i hardly read your lovely foodblogs these days. that's a major downer, because digging around in the foodie community was always the most inspiring thing. the major downside (besides the meds and the numbing fatigue) is that foodwise, i am not really touched by the muse and that's clearly slowing down dinner for one.

i am sure that will change again and i definitely don't want to go on a hiatus or close this blog alltogether! i know you are patient and supportive, and i will surely keep posting. i will post less, but i will keep posting.

and i will also put my laptop on my belly while i rest on my couch, i will crawl through your lovely foodblogs and leave the odd comment here and there ... your inspiration will have me back jumping around in my kitchen in no time!

thank you for being here and dropping mails and comments that you are worried.

you have no idea what that means to me.
you rock!

so there you go

i was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis today.

i wanted to tell nobody about this at first, but now, a few hours after the diagnosis (and the immediate start of treatment with IV-cortisone for any current symptoms) i feel the strange desire to post it on all of my webpages.

like, really ALL of them.

i marked some recent photos on flickr with MS, i made an entry in my private german weblog where i tend to blah-blah-blah most of the time ... and i want to tell you people here too. your support over the last few weeks was truly overwhelming.

thank you so much!

i just love the show "scrubs" and i want to post a quote from S06E01 "my mirror image" that fits quite well today: "it's not like i can change what's already happended. the only thing to do is move forward and deal with it" ... this picture is very inspiring too ...

oh yes and spring starts today too (although a cold wave brought chilly temperatures and snow a few days ago - can you believe that?! virtually the first "serious snow" we had here this "winter") ... "springtime is seen as a time of growth, renewal, of new life being born, and of the cycle of life once again starting. It is also used more generally as the start of better times ..."

real life is catching up with me. not in a good way

i want to thank everybody so much for your concern!

my mind has been a little distracted over the past weeks, because it seems that i might have the same chronic autoimmune disease that my sister has been diagnosed with seven years ago.

it is not a death scentence, but it certainly is life changing. i have not been diagnosed with it yet, but i have been seeing many doctors over the past couple of weeks to figure out what is wrong with me.

and i don't like to go to doctors.

i tried to "ignore the symptoms away" for a few months now, but now i felt weird enough to have the thing checked out. and ignoring symptoms that i know all too well from my little sis is not really wise, after all. it might be another couple of weeks though before i get a definite answer. i am really afraid, to be honest.

i don't plan to go on hiatus here, but i might cut back posting over the next few weeks simply due to a lack of time. cheers again for your support!

we are friends, right?

here's the thing:
i really like you.
you leave comments.
you send emails.
hey, we bond! we connect! we share!

while comments on me going all organic lately are the virtual pat on the shoulder i can't help but wonder why i only see well photographed and mouthwatering recipes in food blogs and i myself strive to only show you pretty dishes too. shouldn't we be able to share the not so successful things as well? why is it that i am so obsessed with only showing off my good side here? shouldn't i be able to tell you about the terrible food i eat? the unhealthy stuff? the recipes i fail at? well, i certainly should!

but i don't want to show you recipes that don't photograph well.
and i don't want to show you the mess i made in the kitchen.
i certainly don't want to show you humiliating shrink-wrapped food!

why is that?

because i want your approval.
i want to look good here!

so in an act of confession i will lower myself into the catacombs of convenience food and i'm going to show you the dinner i just ate.

i have been a fan of texmex-food for a while now and i have never even attempted to cook it from scatch. never made tortillas myself, never bought spices for seasoning, i believe the only ingredient i add is the minced meat, the cheese and the avocado. i don't even know how to fold those babies, i just wrap them up as tight as humanly possible, throw them in a little dish and stick them in the oven for a few minutes. i believe every texmex fan would slap me in the face for that.







shouldn't we share our failures as well? in real life that's the part where you learn something: you make a mistake, you try again, you get help and guidance from friends and you become better in what you do. and you most likely never make that mistake again.

hey, somebody should really invent a food blog event that deals with failures in cooking.
like: "the worst accident in my kitchen" of the month for terrible flops or "the dish that tastes great but looks like sh**" of the month for improving photographical skills ... readers could leave comments to help you on!

but on the other hand: do i really like to see a gazillion blogs with terrible photos of uninspired tv dinners? i doubt that. i have my hands full with all the blogs i want to follow, i couldn't possibly handle hundreds more.

we could make a compromise, dear friend, shall we? i am really bad at asking for help. like really really bad. i am too proud, i always want to do things on my own. so in order to loosen up a bit i could write my food questions on my dinner for one table here. because i often have questions and i almost always lack the resources to have them answered. not many of my friends are obsessed with food. and i never dare to ask if something does not turn out the way i expected. as i said, i am really bad at asking for help. but you could be my kitchen aid (pun intended!). i think i feel comfortable enought now to ask you for help. i think i should even make a whole new blogger label for that.

just needed to get that off my chest, sorry for interrupting.
thanks for listening, friend.

ps: being really new to the foodblog scene at the time (and having no idea what a food blog event is), here's an interesting challenge from november 2005. rachel at fresh aproach cooking hosted my blog went up in flames back then - thank you for drawing my attention to this, sam!

day seven, finally done

01 coffee
02 bread and jam
03 water
04 cauliflower with a cheese and garlic sauce
05 water
06 cafe latte
07 kiwi
08 a wurstbrot
09 water
10 hot chocolate
11 a tiny tangerine
12 wasabi coated peas, i think i am addicted!
13 water

well, i am finally done with photographing my food and my drinks. and i tell ya, it honestly has become some sort of a pain in the ***. i was really discouraged at times because my daily routine is really really dull. that never occured to me.

when i started this thing, i really thought that i had something to show this week. and honestly, i also wanted to show off a little and cook all those delicious and pretty things for you to see. as far as that is concerned, things did not work out the way i planned and the list of things i ate is rather pathetic.


so instead of showing off i better stick to the things i like and know best in the future: cook a little something and take a few pictures for you to see ... on the other hand i also learned something (of course, you always learn something in every experience!) ... my diet is really monotone. i might want to try out something new every once in a while!

and another thing: i want to include my friends a little more by not always cooking for one but making regular size meals and share them with them. i am known to be sort of an eremite, and they all respect that. but i have four of my lovely friends living right here in my building, and sharing some time (and food!) over the last week made it all the more clear that i need to have them in my life more often. so that's another resolution i want to make for 2007. serve them something nice maybe once a week? that would be cool.

yeah, this week was not so bad :)

day six

01 cinnamon and sugar toast
02 herbal tea
03 coffee
04 water
05 some toasted dark bread with gouda
06 water
07 a hand full of wasabi coated peas. burns! like! fire! but totally worth it!
08 more herbal tea
09 stir fry: instant noodles and asian veggies - momofuku ando died yesterday :(
10 an advantage if your friends live in the same building: the come over with tiramisu ...
11 ... and apple tea to spontaneously chat the evening away!
12 after that luscious sweet treat do not need anything else. well, maybe water!

day five

i am invited to a gorgeous brunch at my friends' place and i did not really want to bug them with my camera. so i sneaked a picture of the table and we chit-chatted and gossipped instead during brunch. i'll give you the things i consumed in writing though:

01 cafe latte
02 müsli
03 half a banana
04 bread and mozzarella
05 bread and jam
06 water
07 a pear
08 water
09 yoghurt, a pear, cinnamon and honey
10 water
11 a good old wurstbrot! jause rocks!
12 water
13 coffee
14 black coffee at work - not very good
15 water
16 mohnflesserl with gouda

i really should cook more. but the weekend is coming, i'm staying positive :)

day four

01 i overslept. so no coffee in the morning. water at my desk instead
02 a tangerine
03 water and almost falling asleep
04 lye finger roll
05 the office is out of coffee, so more water.
06 dürüm kebap while window shopping in the afternoon
07 apple juice and still roaming the streets of linz
08 a few bites of chocolate
09 and finally a coffee
10 pasta with swiss chard and onion
11 i'm thirsty. i need water
12 sure, eat all the chocolate. you know you want it. go ahead.
13 i always finish my day with water

i hardly ever drink anything else besides water. whenever i have a craving for coke or sprite or any other soft drink (like twice a year) one sip usually will satisfy my desire. but i like apple juice. grape juice or black currant juice is also great - but only in summer.

day three

01 a fruity start with leftovers of my farm box ... plus yoghurt and weetabix and honey
02 water
03 coffee
04 water, now at work
05 a lousy baguette with salami and cream cheese - note to self: never buy that again
06 a teeny tiny tangerine
07 awful work coffee. but i am almost falling asleep.
08 more water
09 a pear
10 water
11 i did not drink enough today, so more water please
12 turkey, salad, peppers all wrapped up, an adequate compensation for the baguette
13 some fair trade chocolate that was in the mail today. sent by my newspaper
14 water to finish the day

only a few snacks today ... damn, and i wanted to cook more often! well, that's not happening so far, folks!

day two

01 morning coffee
02 water at my desk at work
03 terrible coffee at work
04 lye finger roll for breakfast
05 water - and still at work
06 more water, because water is good for you!
07 a banana
08 an apple while waiting for the tramway
09 a peanutcreme and chocolate bar. for my blood sugar :)
10 and water again
11 dinner, the chickpea-goulash
12 water, yes
13 and another coffee
14 an orange
15 half a pack of kettle vinegar chips while catching up on my daily online reads

my perception is shifting already.
i always thought i'd drink too little and i'd eat too much.

apparently i don't, really.

day one

with this new year knocking on my door i want to face the challenge of taking pictures of everything i consume during this first week of the new year. there was a food blog event in november over at becks and posh which i missed. i want to catch up on that now. kind of a new years resolution, i think. most people start the new year with a diet or a very strict workout schedule, but i need to do some different things *. i only want to screen what i eat and drink for a week - because i am curious. i tend to be very lost in my thoughts when i eat. or lost in my computer. or lost in my favorite tv show. i need to focus on eating again.

actually, maybe i jumped the gun here because as i took a picture of the first thing i drank this morning - a plain glass of tap water - i noticed: gosh, this might be terribly boring for you! most of the things i stuff in my mouth don't really photograph very well!

when i post an entry - and i am sure most of you mad foodbloggers out there will agree - i try to make the pictures as perfectly as possible. i consider lighting (no flash, please!), background (as blurry as possible), colors (colorful dishes with boring food and vice versa) and sometimes i even arrange the noodles on the plate to make them look exactly like i want them to ... yeah. now you know. my name is gerda and i am a crazy person. with all that stuff in mind my food usually is lukewarm by the time i get to eat it.

taking pictures of everything i consume is gonna be tricky. how on earth should i take a picture of the weckerl i gulp down in the tramway on my way to work?! this thing is gone in like two seconds!!

of course i will try my best and i intend to not cheat. but the people around me will certainly think i am totally out of my mind by the end of this week ... camera at the ready all! the! time!

okay. that said, in the style of tucker shaw i proudly present the yield of 01.01.2007


01 water
02 latte macchiato plus first cigarette of the day
03 water
04 bread and jam
05 weihnachtsstern tea
06 chili con carne leftovers - that's even better when warmed up!
07 water, again
08 more weihnachtsstern tea
09 a banana
10 cocoa & rum (watching a cheesy chickflick on tv)
11 the last 3 of my lime coconut fudgybabies (ditto!). i will have to make some more!
12 a kiwi
13 even more water

that's not really much food in one day, is it? and while it's challenging for me to remember taking all the pictures it might be totally dull for you.

we'll see what tomorrow brings.
more food and some actual cooking, i suppose!

_____

*
do you want to know what my real new years resolutions are?
yeah, shame on me, i could not resist making some anyway!

• i want to play guitar more. i started when i was 10 and i haven't played at all last year. i used to love to play and now i don't even know if i can remember all the tricky chords ...
  
• i did not read a single book last year. i started to read "carmen" by prosper mérimée two weeks ago in an effort to at least look back on one book in 2006, but nope! i did not manage to finish it (i have to admit i picked the original french version and my french is a bit rusty) ... i need to switch off my computer from time to time and grab a decent novel. i've never been a big reader, i mostly read magazines or i catch up on my reading online. but one book a year, for christ's sake! that should be doable, right?
• i want to receive mail again. real mail. with a stamp. written by hand. but i guess i have to start sending out letters in order for that to happen. so another resolution this year is to write letters again. because i can't even remember when i sent out my last letter. i suppose it was before the millenium.